Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
