dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
