Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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