you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
