Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
