Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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