I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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