I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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