I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
