i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
