So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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