he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
