FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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