i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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