Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize