he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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