Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
