sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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