Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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