Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Come see our sink grown plant.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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