After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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