Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
