sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
