What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This baby is an asshole
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
