im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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