I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
