I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize