I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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