I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
