she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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