I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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