I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
