taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
please don't ironically join a cult
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