ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
