He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
