I'm sorry my penis didn't work
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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