Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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