I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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