i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
