using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
honey bunches of taint.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
