she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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