We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i think im in europe. pls send help
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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