I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
