Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
