I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
