and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Randomize
