my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
