Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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