I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
