just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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