im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
