my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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