I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Randomize