My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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