so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
