Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize