Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize