That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
